D. Gray Man – Kanda Baiting

Kanda Baiting 

‘D. Gray Man’ by Katsura Hoshino
“Kanda Baiting” by Yumi Mitora Kusakurin

DISCLAIMER: As Ryuuzaki says, ‘don’t own, don’t sue’.

Warnings: Language
Characters: Lavi, Allen Walker, Yu Kanda, Komui Lee, Reever Wenham, Linalee Lee
Theme Songs: Kuroki Neko [Iwasaki Taku], Doubt & Trust [Access], Fre@k $HoW [Abingdon Boys School], For The Future [Do As Infinity]
Pairings: None

XD I couldn’t resist. In one of Ryuu’s drafts there’s a line about how Lavi’s favorite sport is ‘Kanda baiting’ and I had to write about it. LOL. Sorry if it isn’t as good as it should be – when I wrote this it was about 1 AM.

Won’t be anywhere else, but please tell Ryuu if it is.

This one’s for Kitsune.

Chapter 1 

“Hey, look, it’s Yu-chan!” The redhead practically bounced out of his seat to annoy the swordsman when…


He fell over after Kanda’s fist connected with his face. Everyone knew that Kanda hated Lavi’s games.

Just like everyone knew that Lavi’s favorite sport was baiting Kanda.

—–d. gray man—–

“Yu-chan, that hurt!” Lavi protested, rubbing his nose. His already normally-askew hair was even more messed up, and his exorcist’s uniform was ruffled and wrinkled. It probably had been prior to their fight anyway, “fight” meaning Kanda punching Lavi and walking off, nonplussed.

Of course, he probably had no idea what was coming to him, either.

Lavi grinned wickedly as the thought came to him.

“Payback’s a real bitch, Yu-chan…”

—–d. gray man—–

“Hey, moyashi,” Lavi called, sporting a bandage across his nose, “you as bored around here as I am?” He was accompanied by Linalee and the ever-elusive Komui Lee.

“Mffph malwaphs,” he replied through a mouthful of his favorite food, mitarashi dango. To everyone who knew the little exorcist, this was understadable as ‘not always’.

“Wanna go have some fun?” he asked, grinning widely. “Seriously, it’ll be a blast.”

“Chief Lee!”

“There he is! Get him!” Komui whirled his head around, trying to find a place to hide when he spotted the red-haired apprentice pointing him out to Reever.

“Save me! Linalee…” he called as Reever simply grabbed his ear and more or less dragged him off to the science department. As soon as he was on his way out (along with the scientists), Linalee laughed.

“It looks like onii-san is trying to get out of his duties again,” she called to Reever. “Keep an eye on him for me, okay?”

“Anyway, now that the chief’s gone, wanna go have some fun?” Lavi propped his head on his hand, watching his friend’s reactions.

“Mmmmph…” Allen seemed to consider it, popping another piece of dango into his mouth and swallowing it almost as quickly. His mouth finally free, the white-haired exorcist simply looked straight at Lavi with a single burning question on his lips: “What did you have in mind?”

—–d. gray man—–


That had to be Lavi, the swordsman thought with a groan of impatience. Really, he could barely stand Bookman’s apprentice in small doses; was it really necessary to put him through this? Looking up, he noticed that the caller had been none other than… the moyashi

“Yo, Yu-chan,” Lavi laughed, appearing right behind Kanda while the Japanese exorcist stared, dumbfounded, at Allen, who stood there grinning like an idiot. His black hand rose to scratch the back of his neck as he blushed a bright rose. “Heh, whaddya expect? Your lover?” Hopping back quickly to avoid the sharp right hook aimed at his face, Lavi held Mugen up for Kanda to see.

“Bastard… Give it back.”

“Nope,” Lavi replied, smiling helplessly even as Kanda lunged after his sword. “Come and get it if you can, Yu!” Twirling his weapon around, he ran outside; aided by the extending power of the hammer, he barely made it out before an irate Kanda did.

“Hey, Linalee-chan! Catch!” Throwing Mugen to the short-haired girl, he watched her run as fast as she could on her healing legs, racing it to Allen just a second before Kanda showed up in the same spot.

“Moyashi. Give me my sword.” If looks could kill, Lavi thought, the moyashi would already be dead. Indeed, Kanda was glaring daggers at the younger exorcist when Lavi stepped in.

“Oi, Yu-chan, you can have it if you can catch it!” Racing along with the aid of his hammer, he tossed it to Linalee when Kanda was right on top of him, who in turn would toss it to Allen, who would toss it back to Lavi. It took hours of this and several variations of this pattern, but it finally seemed that Kanda was tired.

“You stupid… redhead…” Kanda panted, watching them all angrily. Even Linalee was giggling, no doubt Lavi had asked her to do this in return for something. He just had no idea what.

“Well, I did say you could have it if you caught it, right?” he asked, grinning disarmingly. Kanda gave up and walked towards the redhead with murderous intent clear in his eyes – Allen had the sword, so it was obvious what his intentions were. “Whoa, Yu-chan, you could hurt someone like that,” he shouted in alarm when a kick aimed at his head barely missed. Even without his sword, Kanda knew several kinds of martial arts, and so he was about as deadly. “Ah! What the hell?” Lavi screamed loudly as Kanda got his hands on his uniform shirt, dragging him back and beginning to land flurries of punches and kicks with the intention of at least shutting the apprentice up for a while.

“I’m going to kill you and hang your body on the outside of the tower for everything to see,” he growled through gritted teeth.

“No, wait! Allen, give him his sword! I don’t wanna dieeeeee…!” When the white haired exorcist cautiously approached him cautiously, offering the sword, Kanda snatched it back, glaring at Lavi the entire time. Lavi, in turn, scrambled to his feet an proceeded to execute the maneuver known forever as ‘run like hell’, Allen hot on his feet in the attempt to get away from the now-furious – and armed – swordsman. Linalee just watched, laughing – Kanda wouldn’t hurt her, she knew.

“I’m going to kill you,” he once-again growled, his eyes glinting madly as he drew Mugen.


Their screams echoed throughout the entire Black Order.

—–d. gray man—–

“You really shouldn’t have annoyed him so much,” Linalee offered, sitting on the side of Allen’s hospital bed. Both boys sported various bandages and bruises and Lavi was still unconscious, though as the nurses had said, it was probably just the apprentice being lazy.

“It was Lavi’s idea,” he protested, waving his injured arm at the redhead.

“Then next time, don’t listen to him,” she offered.

“Hey! You did, too!”

“Did not. I tagged along to see the fun,” she replied, a smile still playing across her face as she watched Allen.

“You’re the one who said that Yu-chan could use a bit of teasing sometimes,” Lavi muttered, still keeping his eyes closed in order to keep up the appearance of sleeping.

“Really?” Allen seemed genuinely interested at that, his eyes widening slightly as they always did when his curiousity was piqued.

“Yeah, she said that. Women are so tempermental,” Lavi sighed, cracking his one visible eye open only to shut it again when he winced – Linalee brought a fist down on his head for that comment. “Ow! Watch the injured guy!” Watching her walk off, he sighed happily. “I hate to see her leave, but I love to see her go.”

“Womanizer,” Allen muttered. “You’re almost as bad at my Master,” he shivered. Pulling the blanket up so that only the top of his head was visible, he turned away from the redhead in a feeble attempt to sleep. But Lavi didn’t hear him – he was already talking to the guy in the next bed over.

“Hey, Chaoji?”


“Wanna go have some fun?”


~ by Yumi Mitora Kusakurin on Sunday, 10.02.2008.

8 Responses to “D. Gray Man – Kanda Baiting”

  1. *snort* That was hilarious.

    Good job.

    Try more detail in the next one, okay? That’s like the base element – more means a richer story.

  2. xD That was really funny!
    Thank you. ^^
    Sure made my morining.

  3. Yeah, thanks, Yumi!

    Hey Kitsune-san, want an account on here so that you can write along with us?

  4. Already did. ^^
    Though I really can’t write fanfics to save my life. xD…

  5. I need your email address then.
    Then you can be on the roll for this place.

  6. OMG, that was hilarious! XD Great fic!

  7. ❤ I’ll pass it on to Yumi.

  8. great story………..

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