D. Gray-Man – The Oddest Games…
‘D. Gray-Man’ by Katsura Hoshino
“The Oddest Games…” by Ryuuzaki Kusakurin
DISCLAIMER: As if my position as fanfiction writer wasn’t enough to tell you that I don’t own it… *snort*
Warnings: Language, Monty Python references, etc.
Characters: Lavi, Lenalee Lee, Arystar Krory, Yu Kanda, Jerry, Komui Lee, Cross Marian, Froi Tiedoll, Number 69, Johnny, Miranda Lotto, Reever Wenham, Bookman
Theme Songs: BLADE CHORD [Abingdon Boys School], Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Kokia], Turning Japanese [The Vapors], KI-SE-KI [BeForU], Back In Black [AC/DC], Crazy Train [Ozzy Osbourne]
Thank you, Void Kitsune, for completely corrupting me and making me write about Lavi… again… That being said, I slid down the stairs at my house in a box about five minutes ago…
It had all started with a box. It was just a simple box that the science department no longer needed, and Lavi had, in turn, spirited it away.
Yes indeed, Lavi had found a box and was going to have fun. He decided to shake things up a bit by sliding down the entire twelve-story staircase in the headquarters; it was the largest staircase here, after all. What he hadn’t counted on was how crowded they would be. Looking back on it though, it didn’t really matter much at all. The stairs had been quickly vacated.
Lavi had hopped into the box, a half-grin on his face as he scooted forward to the edge of the stairs and bellowed the obvious:
“Look out below!”
This proclamation was immediately followed by hurried footsteps, curses, loud shouts of acknowledgement and even encouragement, and of course, Kanda’s ‘che’. Tiedoll stopped to make a quick sketch of Lavi’s haphazard expression of unadulterated joy and cautious worry.
Bump-bump-bump-bump-bump… he flew down the stone stairs in his box, hitting Komui on the way down.
“Oh, hi there, Supervisor,” Lavi had offered with a huge grin before turning his attention back to the stairs. General Tiedoll leapt out of the way, stunningly agile for a man of his age, but Cross hadn’t paid any attention whatsoever to anything but his current fixation – Lenalee. Cross was swept up along with Komui, and somehow Komui ended up in his arms as they continued the long descent into the annals of the Black Order. “Err… hello, General,” he said sheepishly, opting to jump out before Cross could pull his gun on him. Unfortunately, he got stuck – between the small space allotted in the box and the two other people that he had run into, he had nowhere to go.
Twenty seconds later, he hit the stone wall at the end of the stairs rather unceremoniously, almost falling onto Miranda. The poor woman seemed more than a little startled, quickly scurrying off and muttering something about never leaving her room again.
Two pairs of eyes were now watching him; Cross seemed, well, rather cross at having been whooshed away from a potential lover in such an unceremonious fashion, while Komui simply seemed mildly shaken and more than a little relieved at keeping Cross’s hands off of his sister. Yes, an apology was in order, the redhead decided.
“I’m sorry -” Cross unholstered his anti-akuma weapon, raising it to aim at Lavi, who ducked to avoid the shot. “Really, I am!” he exclaimed, grabbing his own weapon, the hammer, and extending it to make a quick getaway.
Two hours later, he had found shreds of the box at the base of the stairs. Thank you, General Cross, he thought with a slight scowl.
And so the box-on-the-stairs game was abruptly ended.
The next day found him ‘galloping’ though the Black Order on a ‘horse’. Said ‘horse’ was actually nothing more than a pair of coconut halves that he was clapping together in an approximation of the sound of hooves on stone, but he was ‘galloping’ nonetheless. He trotted through the cafeteria, pausing to steal a large bag of sweets and the like to share with Yu-chan, but aside from that, he left general havoc in his wake.
The science department had turned their heads at the sound of a horse coming through the hallways, and this momentary lapse had allowed Lavi to scatter papers everywhere as he ran through, jumping on cold lab tables and generally causing chaos. He dimly recalled knocking someone into Number 69, but of course he would choose not to remember that it had been a certain Reever Wenham, and that he had made the man spill his precious lemon soda all over Johnny.
The next target for ‘invasion’ was the library. The old panda could use a little excitement, he had reasoned. That particular adventure had earned him a few bumps on the head from intentionally falling stacks of books.
Miranda was next, and she had screamed, cowering in a corner, absolutely sure that she was about to be run over by a horse until she opened her eyes and promptly fainted.
The next place had been Kanda’s room – of course, he had almost been killed in that endeavour. He had burst into the room without any advance warning only to find a brooding Japanese exorcist. Kanda looked surprised, but from there he had quickly turned it into cold, calculated annoyance. Lavi dropped the bag of candy that he had intended to deliver and ran, almost forgetting to bring the coconut halves along.
And then Kanda had followed him and sliced the coconuts into tiny pieces. Lavi also noticed that he was eating one of the candies that had been left earlier.
So far, the destruction of his favourite new games had become a recurring pattern. Pity.
That was all in all what had brought about the advent of his newest and greatest lifetime invention [thus far, at least...], Laviboarding. That’s what he had chosen to call it, given that it was his invention and therefore he was entitled to name it.
His only goal was to create something infinitely more deadly than any Komlin ever invented.
So far, he was succeeding in building up notoriety. He had scared the wits out of Miranda for the third time this week, managed to hit two Generals [Klaud Nine had simply been amused and her monkey-Innocence-thing had wanted to try it as well, while Cross, after the box-down-stairs incident, had not been amused at all.], snatch more food from Jerry, run into Number 69 for a second time, and even managed to generally terrorise the more innocent denizens of the Order, including but not limited to Hevlaska and Johnny.
He was far more than slightly amused at this thought, and decided to continue this fascinating new pastime as he zoomed through the library, leading to a hallway, which led to another hallway, which led to yet another…
“Wheeeeee!” Lavi giggled in a rather unmanly fashion as he flew through the Order’s many labyrinthine halls on his invention. He personally thought that it was a hilariously fun diversion, but as for the people he was inconveniencing… well, who cared? He was stomach-down on a wooden board with four wheels attached, and he was constantly kicking off of the ground in an attempt to keep going. “Krorykins! Watch out,” he called. The vampire looked back and stopped, nearly jumping in the air as Lavi shot down the hallway, nearly missing Miranda and scooting between Krory’s legs as he continued his new game. That makes four times I’ve scared her, he thought, mentally assigning points. As he continued to haphazardly speed down the hall, he realised almost immediately that he was going to crash.
Of course, it figured that he would notice this when it was too late to stop or even avoid slamming head-first into the person in front of him.
It also figured that it would be Kanda.
God was a sadist, Lavi decided in that instant, just before crashing into Kanda’s left leg.
“Stupid rabbit -” he began, but was rudely interrupted by a staircase.
“Sorry, Yu-chan,” Lavi replied loudly as they both fell down the staircase, quickly followed by the board, which landed on Kanda, as if to add insult to injury. “Really, I am!” he exclaimed when Kanda drew Mugen from its sheath at his side. Grabbing the board and running as fast as he could, he avoided most of Kanda’s wild swings.
Ah, a predictable, if not insane, day in the Black Order.
A/N: If you can’t tell, his last invention [the 'Laviboard'] is actually a skateboard. And he’s zoomnig around on his stomach. Poor Black Order…